6:23 am, I finished with work slightly earlier than usual so
I decide to go into the break room and woo sah a little. Possibly sit, get my
daily oatmeal fix and indulge in an interesting article from my Redbook or
Cosmo subscription or two. You know that I’m at work but I need a second to get
away from work moment that we all (non)
secretly do? (Mmm hmm..)
Break room sounds quiet, could it be… Empty?! Suhhh weet!
And then… She walks into a male co-worker reading from a shy angle a magaz… Is
that my Cosmo?! I chuckle to myself. He quickly closes it and says “Good
Morning, sorry”. So I respond “Good Morning, no it’s fine. You were just
passing time right?” He says “yup”. I reiterate “It’s cool you can read it..
I’m sure thatI know what page YOU
were on”. We both laugh as he
quickly blushes out of the break room.
But little does he know, Honey I do it too!!
I have a GQ Subscription! Yup, I sure do. Yes. If you’re
like why? Pay attention, I’m about to learn you something!
- Statement: Summer is coming are you hogging my fave machine
in the gym so you can wear something like this?
Cosmo offers a skinny broad frolicking on the beach or in a
Miss America pageant in her bikini knowing that 97.363% of it's readers will NOT look like that–vs- GQ offers a well fit strikingly
handsome man chartering a boat in 8734 degree weather in some pretty spiffy
swim trunks.. Or were they swimming trunks? I honestly can’t recall.
Conclusion: Anywho, can you visualize the difference in
attention span sometimes? Oh and is anyone else not able to look at
anything Calvin Klein without thinking of Marty McFly?
- Statement: True Life: I Have Some Weight Struggles, but this
article may or may not take it seriously… No seriously.
Redbook offers a sad story about how difficult it can be for
a woman to lost weight post postpartum entitled something like “I Promise I
Already Had the Baby” or the other (Eh. I made it up). But the magazine assures
you not to lose hope because we have a few work outs to fix that for you with a
work out plan on the next page.
-vs- a hilarious article entitled “Can Everyone Tell I’m
Skinny-Fat?” (Real article by Nick Marino by the way). With a work out plan on
the same page. *Presses Red Staples Button*
Conclusion: Pretty much the same without the extra details
in a paragraph versus a pass me the Puffs Plus, 3 long paged story article. (Kind of like this one!) Man: Short & Sweet. Woman: Water works water works, and then he had the
nerve to.. *turn the page*, water works. Sheesh, but you must love us yes?
Statement: The male Ads are more unrealistically real:
Cosmo Ads include those of when Aunt Flo comes to town and
to be quite frank, we’ve tried them ALL but I never look or feel like this
broad!! Even while hormonally sober.
As told a few weeks ago, one of my fave annual events is The
International Car Show, and Redbook isn’t dishing the latest deets on Lincoln’s
2013 MKZ (Donations for the Danita Wants This Car Fund greatly appreciated).
Conclusion: Unrealistic = Me extra smiley and happy during
that time of the month no matter how dainty or pretty the packaging is. Super
Unrealistic = Me actually obtaining that car BUT the thought does make me look
like Orbit auditions have landed and tripped on pause on my face. :-D
- Statement: Odor Preferences: Daffodils & Gobstoppers or
Sawdust & Musk?..
As a woman, to know that you’re breezing in stride smelling
good is a great day booster. So receiving those sometimes great samples in mags
(you think I could totally pull this off) & others put you in a pass the
coffee beans kind of vibe.
In the same, as a woman, to briskly walk past a rather
handsome man and get a great whiff of that deliciously lingering cologne? And
don’t let you know the man and hug him leaving a sample on your clothes… Okay,
that can be dangerous pending your relationship status. But in comparison to
being tempted to rub that cologne insert all over your pillow? (Please don’t do
that… and tell).
Conclusion: Do you prefer meeting someone in your dreams
smelling amazing or waking up wondering who that was smelling like your future?
Both? Cool me too!
CAUTION: Be careful, be sure to wash your hands after
handling the samples and to be careful if you know that you have allergies and not knowing those of others.
Samples in a magazine really caused this to this poor woman. I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
In a sense, I’m a girlie girl when it comes to make up &
I despise manicures and pedicures said no woman EVER! So it’s cool to get
coupons for $3 off of any Maybelline product or a funky DIY nail trend. Plus
it’s nice to receive advise from people who have gone through similar
situations as yourself or loved ones.
In the same, I grew up with quite a few brothers so playing G.I. Joe & NBA Live weren't far out of my childhood. (Love milking that) Plus I just like to know what’s going on with my male
counterparts as well, tap into their dome and... laugh the next time I am at the
gym & watching a male act like he’s not watching and thinking this…
So proceed co-worker of
mine. Judgment free here!
-Lovely Nita XoXo
